Welcome! To

  You may be asking, yourself, Adam: what made you, a 16-something highschool student living in a small rural town in Central Ontario, with no professional experience, want to post a webpage like this?

  All I have to say, is who are you, and how do you know so much about me? Are you stalking me or something? Are you following me to and from school, monitoring my every-day activites constantly? Stay away from me you creepy little person! You know, it's sickos like you that give normal people nightmares. Go now, to the nearest police station, and turn yourself in. Seek professional help. I would suggest heavy medication, repeated counselling, and constant electro-shock therapy. The more painful, the better.

  But now, onto the main purpose of this page, which is of course to showcase me, and nothing but me. Yes, every aspect of my life will be presented to the internet community at large, for you vultures to pick over, and mock, laughing at every one of my flaws, until I turn reclusive, hidden from a world of scorn and shame.

  Feel free to try any of the links at the side. I'm told they lead somewhere, but don't expect anything too grand. That photo gallery link, for example, just takes you to a page that insults you for clicking on a link that takes you to a page that insults you. The rest are probably safe, depending on how resiliant you are.

  So what are you waiting for? Stop wasting time reading this unfunny drivel, and read some of the other unfunny drivel. I'm not promising anything, but it's either that or go to some other site, and you don't want to do that, do you?

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