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My To Do List
After a long, hiatus, caused by that nagging life thing I have, I am now back at this unprofitable, unread site, to write some more. And believe me, I have plans. And a list. And a marker with which to cross things off that list. And a hat. The hat is irrelevant, but cool. To give you an idea of what is on this list, I show you my list:
1) Look up Hiatus. Probably used incorrectly.
2) Add new font to page. Old font isn't hip anymore. Italics don't count.(Nothing against Italians)
3) Win Microsoft from Bill Gates in a rigged Poker game.
 i)Get Bill's cell number.
ii)Get deck of cards.
iii)Learn to cheat at poker.
iv)Get Bill to play poker, wager my stapler against Micrsoft.
v)Win game.
4) Be more funny.
5) Sweep basement. Smells musty, perhaps discard collection of dead ball point pens.
6) Learn to juggle. People like people who juggle. Therefore, they will like my site.
7) Drug town's water supply, with a site-liking drug. Dristan? Medamucil?
8) Research prescription drugs. Perhaps ask druggist, tiptoe around water-supply business.
9) If necessary, drug + kidnap druggist. Aspirin? Cortozone? On my own this time.
10)
11) Think up #10. Make sure it's funny. See #4.
12) Finish Harry Potter. People like Harry Potter. People will like me if I like Harry Potter. Perhaps make Harry-Potter related joke.
13) Find out what a Harry Potter is. Drink? Video Game? Fragrance?
14) Talk to more girls.
15) Find out what a girl is.
16) Get back to Website-related jokes.
17) Spray-paint keyboard like in that Hackers movie. Bleach hair, rollerblade, talk in techno-lingo, fight guy from Due South, act with Angelina Jolie.
18) New background for site. New content for site. Add movies, rotating flames, and Hamsters. Dancing Hamsters.
19) Research Copyright laws.
20) Bathe.
21) Add music to site. Find out what music people like. ABBA? Liberace? Vanilla Ice?
22) Get teeth their absolute whitest. Have organic experience. Don't believe it's not butter.
23) Be more Tragically Hip. Be Tragically Hip 'til it hurts. Be as Tragically Hip as one can be without permanent physical damage.
24) Add more smileys to page! :-)
25) Dance!8-o
26) Put site in search engines. Lube+Oil engine. Balance engine. :{)
27) Tape Junkyard Wars tonight.;-)
28) Put more Pop culture references on page.
29) Feed Druggist.
30) Keep on rockin' in the free world.
31) Give prizes to visitors.
32) Promise prizes to visitors.
33) Acknowledge existence of visitors. Insult the SOB's less.
34) Hire consultant to consult things. Pay him in ball point pens.
35) Re-use jokes originally in Dilbert cartoons. Dilbert is funny.
36) Buy newspaper and read Dilbert.
36) Write actual articles instead of lists. Lists aren't funny.
37) Stop adding stupid self-relating notes at end of all lists.
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