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  1.0: Following Declaration BLF.1.3.577-435, subsection 5.2, The website of the plaintiff, which will herein be refered to as PureDrivel.20m.com, that's the website's name, not the plaintiff's, in case you're an idiot, has been has been purchased as part of a financial venture into the domain of the world wide web, herein refered to as the 'www', you should be smart enough to figure that one out, not, as the plaintiff, who, as we forgot to mention earlier, shall herein be refered to as 'the plaintiff' or, alternatively, 'Adam', described it as 'being absorbed into the ever expanding corporate conglomerate to feed the growing horde of corporate North America', by the purchaser, herein yada yada yada 'the purchaser' yada yada yada 'Megacorp Incorporated', and is entitled to all the financial and cultural perquisites therein entailed. Deal with it.
  1.1: You may not realise but Megacorp Incoporated is a huge company. Huge. This declaration ain't talkin' no King Kong sized huge, it's talking freakin' Space Monster from 'Godzilla Versus The Space Monster' huge. That's huge. And Megacorp has money too match. Millions. Billions. We could buy and sell Gates, and still have enough change left over to pay the nation of Qatar to wear clown wigs for a year. You don't want to mess with us. Unless you like Michael Crichton novels, and want to experience one up-close. Yeah, we could own him too. We're that rich. Fonts this small don't come cheap, okay?
  1.3: Following the purchase of PureDrivel.20m.com, the plaintiff was awarded the sum of $5 and forcibly removed from the premises, and shall receive in future installments an open tin of whoopass should he try to return, to be payed at a rate of .05% per annum.
  1.4: Oh yeah, we have an elite squad of company-owned assassins and ninjas too. Cool, huh? We can just say, 'hey, ninjas, go totally rough up Joe Blow, in Arkansas', and they'll do it! That's so cool!
  2.0: Megacorp Incorporated shall receive, in terms of renumeration, I think that's the right word, the use of the domain 'puredrivel.20m.com', all content of the site posted before the date of this declaration, and the lavishment of praise and envy from regular fans previously reserved for the plaintiff, a.k.a. 'sucka'. What a sucka. Intellectual property rights be damned, we can own this stuff if we say we can. Don't give us that 'freedom of information' spiel neither, unless you like Kung-Fu fighting, if you get my drift, for all intents and purposes, Megacorp Incorporated wrote all the funny stuff on this site, and always will. We created the site, spent all the time on, you get my point. It's ours.
  2.1: Just to interject, we have our logo on all our pens, and mugs and stuff, and they're sweet, all black with the silver paint and stuff, and they make so much of it, you can swipe, like, anything you want, and they'll never notice. I got this dope stapler at home, and a mouse pad or two, oh yeah, and Jimmy, in accounting, he stole a pair of scissors once, just stuck 'em in his pocket when the boss was standing right there! But hey, Jimmy? I got my eye on the letter opener in Filcher's office, you nab that before me, and I'm gonna tell the whole company about your drug problem at the next picnic. Yeah, I saw you shooting smack on coffee break, and what you did after that. You're sick, man. Sick. That opener's mine
  3.0: Should PureDrivel.20m.com generate profit in future fiscal seasons, all of said profit shall be directed solely to Megacorp Incorporated, in addition to monetary returns from web-site related investments made by the plaintiff while in possession of the website. Materials and technologies used by the plaintiff shall become the property of MI, hope you don't mind me shortening that, it's just getting hard to type, despite their relation to the website, ie should P, again, it's a shortform, have used a CPU while writing C for PD.2.c, that CPU shall be physically removed from the possession of P, to be given to MI, for use as they see fit. K? Tax receipts and accounting data kept by P shall become blah blah blah, basically, we get all his stuff. Everything. We own his dog.
  3.1: Following is a list of ASCII characters, made to look techinical to fill space: 2.336564-776, Form C-5546466, Serial Number 2343578934, Call 5559870 for a good time, B.S.D.D.T, 9802089886 burgers served since 1990. There. That's enough. Oh yeah, Our floor manager spent a bunch of time in Betty Ford last month, he told everyone he in Jamaica, but I'll tell you, Jamaica doesn't recommend a twelve-step confirmation speech to be recited in the broom closet every half hour, does it? But back to the legal stuff.
  3.2: Owing to the spontaneous nature of the internet, shareholder meetings will be held every second and fourth quarter, to ensure the maximization of sharelholder and employee intercommunication and worker synergy. No funny stuff, Jimmy. Ha Ha, just kidding.

What is Megacorp Incoporated?

  We're a globallized corporation centered in the United Stetes of Amarica. That's not a typo, that's our company-owned country's name. Through high risk economical, technology based mergers and investment ventures, we globalize an ever expanding network of corporological stragemetizing, captilizengineerenduration, and incorporosyrginization. This provides high-yield earnings and high rates of return on all investments. We're a corporation with our eyes firmly set on the future of tomorrow, not afraid to release the past of today, and embrace the constance of changing resolution. With over 177 conglomerates world-wide, we generate profit and endupilate sums of money so large they grow there own money like a rotten orange grows mold. In the financial world, money gravitates towards us based sheerly on the physical mass of the money already accumulated. We own 90% of of everything, and the other 10 we rent. Seriously. We can fire you. Don't work for us? That's what you think. We don't add prefixes to our name for nothing.   back