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PureDrivel.20m.com Announces Farewell Tour

  After 10 years of entertaining untold millions of savvy internet users, young and old, PureDrivel.20m.com has decided to close the doors to it's funny factory, hang up its funny hat, and bid a sorrowful adieu all other metaphors for stopping with the word 'funny' in them somewhere. In a recent news release, a spokesperson for the critically-acclaimed website, multi-media giant, and breakfast cereal informed the distraught, tangled mass of reporters whom had been gathered for the occasion provided the following statement:

    "After 10 years of entertaining untold millions of savvy internet users, young and old, PureDrivel.20m.com has decided to close the doors to it's funny factory, hang up its funny hat, and bid a sorrowful adieu all other metaphors for stopping with the word 'funny' in them somewhere."*

    Amidst the desolate cries cries of the desolate reporters, the spokesman then desolately packed up his desolate items, and desolately exited the desolate stage.**

    The exact details of the closure are as of yet unknown. Questions regarding severance packages for staff, who gets the parking spots, and where little Billy will live now, have so far gone unanswered. What is known for sure, however, is that this is the undoubtedly the greatest tragedy to happen to anything or anyone, ever.***

    Bookings made by PureDrivel.20m.com in arenas and local theatre venues across the country have not yet been cancelled, and so it is expected that the site will remain in operation until at least the end of June, when PureDrivel.20m.com plays its last confirmed show, a sold-out event in New York's Central Park. Ticket holders for the event have already begun scalping tickets, advertising "The last chance to see that site. You know, with the red background." Front-row tickets have already sold for upwards of two dollars and fifty-five cents, for a pair. This is expected to skyrocket as the date grows nearer.

    So what can loyal viewers expect from PureDrivel.20m.com, or PureDrivel.20m.com as it has become affectionately known to the more die-hard fans, expect in these last remaining weeks, from a site known for its irregular updates and oft-times amusing, though often awkward articles and jokes that fall flat more often than a thing that...always...falls flat? I don't know. But stay tuned to this website for further, up-to-the-minute coverage of the closure, and an in-depth look back at the website that touched so many lives.

 

 

  * The editor would like to apologize for the obvious laziness with which this article was obviously written.

  ** Again, sorry for the laziness. He was having an off-day, and adjectives are hard to come up with.

  *** Okay even I'll admit that's a little farfetched. back