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An Interview with the One of the Greatest Philisophical Minds of the Past 3000 Years:
Recently, PureDrivel.20m.com had the oppotunity to sit down with Aristotle, Greek philosopher and mathematician, for a little one-on-one chat. The following is a transcript of the interview:
PD: Now, Aristotle, you're a man of many talents. You've been a physician in the court of Amyntas II, a biologist, philosopher, and respected logician. What lead you to such a wide variety of interests, and why haven't you dedicated your life to one in particular?
A:...
PD:Mr. Aristotle?
A: Vas?
PD: Oh. Right. You're Greek I suppose you don't speak English. Well, we should have foreseen this, really. It only makes sense. I'm sorry to have wasted your time.
A: ...?
PD: Although, considering the fact that you died 300 years before the birth of Christ, the fact that we're able to sit down to conduct this interview is quite an accomplishment.
A: Vas?
PD: i'm afraid you're quite dead, sir. Yes, I've just been handed a history textbook by one of my assistants here, and it states quite clearly, that you are, and I quote from page 347, paragraph four, "[dead]". Shame.
The interview was then cut short as Aristotle continued to decompose, and crumbled a bit onto the floor. Not wanting to disappoint our readers, we pulled some strings, made some phone calls, and hastily scheduled an interview with Machiavelli. The transcript follows.
PD: Now, Machiavelli, although best known for your work entitled 'The Prince', in which you explore the process of rising to power by way of deceit and psychological manipulation, you are also a very religious man. How do you react to the misconception that you are the embodiement of all that is evil?
M:...Ci?
PD: Right. Italian. That again. And dead. We should really do our research a lot sooner. Goodbye.
In the hopes of actually conducting an interview, we contacted Nietzche, Amadeus, King Solomon, Oppenheimer, Frederic Banting, and Babe Ruth, but were repeatedly confronted with the obstacle of them being either foreign or dead, most often both. Upon the suggestion of an in-house staff member, we consulted a newspaper, to find a suitable interview subject who was both English and alive. Further inquiries were made, but we were informed that Dagwood was unavailable for comment, being a fictional character. This last disappointment was the final straw, and a general consensus was reached that we should just give up.
We're very sorry. We realize that this reflects poorly on PureDrivel.20m.com as a whole, and hope that you will continue to visit this site, despite the shoddy work of those employed within. We promise that in future interviews, we will dedicate the time and effort necessary to find a viable subject, and learn from our mistakes. We're just really sorry. Your time is valuable, and you shouldn't have to waste it in a site that can't even bother to ensure that the people it's interviewing can actually be interviewed. Current research is being invested in the possibilities of creating a 'time transcending vehicle', more commonly known as a time machine, that will allow us to circumnavigate the obstacles faced above, and allow us to bring you the hard-hitting, insightful interviews with history's most influential leaders and philosophers. Until then, we thank you for your patience. And again, we're sorry.
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