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Q+A
I recently had the opportunity to talk with Adam Panter, webmaster of the reasonably not-crappy website PureDrivel.20m.com. Adam landed from a long flight around the country, removed his trademark blue hat, and took some time to answer my questions...
Adam Panter: Now Adam, regular visitors to your site, of which I'm not one, have noticed that recently there has been a, I'm told, surprising lack of new material posted on the site, exactly none I'm told.
Adam Panter: Yes, well you see, there are circumstances, you see. Other projects, hobbies, friend, and indeed REAL work, have been occupying most of my free time, which is apparently free to anyone who wants it.(chuckles) But seriously, what with paying jobs and all, I'm left with very little time for non-paying, and frankly, unread drivel such as this.
AP: And what work would this be?
AP: IGA employee actually. I work as stockboy, customer helper, and "cartbitch". This entails, respectively, moving food from one place to another, helping patrons find said food, and retrieving carts used to move said said food.
AP:Sound interesting
AP:(snickers)
AP: You mentioned other hobbies?
AP: Ah yes, well I did recently declare myself lord and ruler over aisle 6, a time consuming title. Aisle 6, the cleaning aisle, only very recently declared war upon soup and frozen foods, and the managing a war requires quite a bit of energy. For example, the lightbulbs I appointed in charge of enemy intelligence recently informed me that several packages of frozen peas were seen scouting our territory. Suffice it to say, they were immediately captured, and questioned extensively.
AP: That's it. I'm leaving.(leaves)
AP: It turns out that the Parlour Ice cream is planning a direct assault on us from the south, timed to coincide with a rebellion of J-cloths in our own ranks. I assure you I took care of those cloths.
AP:
AP: I appealed to the display of sunscreen at the end of the aisle, to offer assictance should we invade the juice aisle in the east. Bottles of sunscreen are very withdrawn, and many hours of precious time were spent convincing them to divert their attack from the dairy, to our mutual enemies. Then, while bolstering the spirits of many bottles of Javex, I became lightheaded, and withdrew from consciousness. Stumbling deep into enemy territory, I unwisely picked a fight with box of frozen waffles. My men found my hours later, covered in blood and crumbs, and managed to get me back home. A voice then spoke from the heavens, calling for cleanup on aisle 7, and a lady, unlike the inanimate merchandise I am used to, told me to go outside, and bring in carts.
AP:
AP:So you can see, these exploits leave little time to work on PureDrivel.20m.com
AP:
AP:Well, I'll see myself out then. EEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRROWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!(flies away).
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